in for psychotherapy 5 months ago to cope with the recent discovery of my
husbands pornography addiction and the depression that resulted. He
was in cognitive behavioral therapy at the time with a different provider
and different practice. Well, he is now out of psychotherapy and I am still
in psychotherapy. I am no longer depressed and feeling much better, and I
attempted on two different sessions to end my psychotherapy, and my
psychotherapist was extremely resistant to me ending psychotherapy and almost
controlling insisting that I have tons of other issues that I dont
know I have. She basically has said I that I will never be well if I dont
stay in psychotherapy (which I can barely afford). I am in such a dilemma.
On one hand I dont really believeI need this extensive psychotherapy
but on the other hand if she is accurate in her assessment I dont want
to go through life damaged and confused. I am a little concerned
about the accuracy of her evaluation and sometimes feeling as if I am in
One Flew Over the Coo-coos Nest.
Psychotherapy is a matter of learning to interpret and
unconscious. As long
as you are alive, the unconscious continuously
reconstitutes itself, and so you could stay in psychotherapy for the rest
of your life, if you wanted to.
terms of simple practicality, the sheer cost of psychotherapy can prevent
many people from making it a life-long process. You yourself have discovered
But, aside from
the cost of psychotherapy, a more philosophical issue can be considered here.
As I said, psychotherapy is a matter of learning to interpret and understand
your unconscious. Through this understanding, your old psychological
defenses will dissolve,
and you will be able to relate to others with emotional
At first, you
need your psychotherapist to guide you into emotional honesty, because
when you are psychologically and emotionally blind you simply cannot lead
yourself. As you make more and more progress in the treatment, however, you
will be able to apply the things you learn in the treatment to the everyday
world. Eventually the question will arise as to when you have learned enough
to function on your own without psychotherapy.
When the question
arises, it means that the issue of
to be discussed within the psychotherapy. Your doubts and fears and hopes
and expectations deserve attention at this point. Once you decide that
you are ready to end the treatment, there is only
one thing to do: try it and find out what happens.
The truth is,
if anything happens such that you want to return to treatment, there is no
reason why you couldnt return.
But if, as you
discuss termination with your psychotherapist, the psychotherapist tries
to tell you that you are damaged and confused, it can make you
feel unsafe. Ironically, in such a case, it
would be best to terminate anyway, not because you believe you are ready to
terminate but because you sense that ethical
limits have been
crossed and that you are being manipulated by the psychotherapists needs.
advertisingno sponsorjust the simple truth . . .