do I do about a psychotherapist who passed me on to another psychotherapist
because he felt he didnt have the experience to help me (after seven
months together) and yet continues to contact me? Its been three years
and he still calls. I had contacted his supervisor for help and he not only
didnt follow the instructions we were both given, he has since quit
that practice and has continued to call. My spouse refuses to change and
unlist our phone number, and I have been told by my current psychotherapist
to screen my calls. I hate where I am in all of this and I am torn between
really hating what my first psychotherapist is doing and a feeling of really
being cared for. Now he is constantly on my mind. What is going on, and what
sort of responsible action do I need take to move beyond all of this? This
is taking up so much of my time and I have allowed it to keep me from focusing
on the work I have to do to grow myself up.
Congratulations for understanding that this matter requires
responsible action on your part. After all, one of the benefits of
is learning that no matter what happens to you, you cannot
control the behavior
of someone else and that you and you alone have the responsibility
to cope with what is happening. Even your husband has recognized this by
refusing to change your telephone number.
In a matter such
as this (when the psychotherapist has a supervisor), the appropriate first
step would be to do just what you did do: contact his supervisor.
If his behavior
continues, the next step would be to warn him directly that if he doesnt
stop calling you, you will report him to his
If his behaviour
continues after your warning, the third step would be to tell him that he
has just crossed a line, that you will report him to his licensing board,
and that you refuse to talk to him. Keeping in mind that you will be feeling
violated and angry,
refuse to act with hatred and hang up politely. Then report him to his licensing
If his behaviour
continues after your reporting him, the fourth step would be to report him
to the police and let them take it from there.
of how many of the steps you have to negotiate, use your current psychotherapy
to process both the
negative thoughts and
feelings and the positive thoughts
and feelings about the ongoing matter. Moreover, take comfort, because
the effort you put into this annoying matter is actually helping you to
grow yourself up.
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