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Page Contents: When your psychotherapist is attractive then seems weird.                    

 

I am sincerely asking about the following: Why am I both attracted to and repulsed by my psychologist? On one hand he is attractive to me and then on another day I think he is weird looking and somewhat odd. What could that be about?

 
This is what I have described elsewhere on this website as the love-hate flip-flop: when someone gives you what you want, you’re “in love”; when he doesn’t give you what you want, you hate him. If you pay attention, you will notice that the switch from attraction to repulsion happens whenever you are feeling disappointed in your psychologist; if you pay very close attention, you might even discover the very words that trigger your disappointment.

Now, the really weird thing—at least, it may seem odd to those who haven’t yet learned to appreciate the psychology of the unconscious—is that if you resolve to speak about these feelings in your psychotherapy sessions, rather than hide the feelings from your psychologist because of embarrassment and shame, you will be able to do some deep and sincere psychotherapy.

 


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Raymond Lloyd Richmond, Ph.D.
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