My therapist
is acting as though he is sexually attracted to me. Should he tell me about
his sexual attraction? Should I go to another therapist? Is this normal for
a therapist to have these feelings? Is it unethical or does he have lack
of training?
Whether you understand it or not, you use one word that
is the key to all your other questions:
acting.
Let’s make
a brief digression for a moment. Most people have heard the term acting
out, usually in the context of
adolescent behavior.
But do you know where the term really originated? It comes from classical
psychoanalysis.
In psychoanalysis,
clients are required to talk, without censorship, about whatever comes into
their minds. As long as this happens, the analysis continues smoothly. But
when a client begins to experience something that seems embarrassing, and
avoids talking about it, then the analysis gets very complicated. For example,
suppose a client started to resent the cost of the treatment but didn’t
speak about it to the analyst. What would happen? Well, the client would
then start “acting out” the resentment by coming late to sessions
or falling behind in payments. Thus, when inner experiences are not spoken
aloud within the psychotherapy, they invariably get acted out through
behavior.
So when you say
that your psychotherapist is acting as though he is sexually attracted
to you, there is cause for grave concern.
Of course, any
psychotherapist is bound to encounter someone who provokes an
erotic attraction. We could even call
that “natural.” But a competent psychotherapist should recognize
the feelings—and the danger they pose—and take steps to resolve
the problem. The psychotherapist might be able to resolve the matter through
on-going personal self-analysis. The psychotherapist might require psychotherapy
of his or her own; or he or she might need some clinical supervision from
an experienced colleague. But whatever the psychotherapist does, it should
be “invisible” to the client. And if the psychotherapist’s
feelings in this regard are not invisible, then it means that his feelings
are not being spoken within the context of his own inner analysis, and that
leads to the danger of his acting out his feelings with you.
So what can you
do? Given that you can see, through his actions, that your psychotherapist
has personal feelings for you, all you can do is take the initiative and
ask him about it point-blank. Give him a chance to explain himself. And if
he does or says anything the least bit inappropriate, then get up and leave
immediately—and find a new psychotherapist.
No
advertising—no sponsor—just the simple truth . . .
 |
|
|
If
this website has helped you, then