Questions and Answers About Psychotherapy

Page Contents: Introduction / The Psychotherapy Process / Transference Issues / Termination Issues / Submit a Question

 

	SYCHOTHERAPY is often more difficult than it needs to be simply because new clients have questions and concerns about the psychotherapy process that they cannot easily express. After all, new clients may be unaware of the depths of their emotional processes and may be unsure of their capacity for self-assertion. Stated as simply as possible, psychotherapy is an intimate emotional encounter with the psychotherapist, and it demands that you learn to overcome typical psychological defenses such as running, hiding, and keeping secrets. For some persons, this task can be quite terrifying. The questions that follow—real questions by real people—may be of interest to anyone beginning, or thinking of beginning, psychotherapy.     The Psychotherapy Process | Transference Issues | Termination Issues   The Psychotherapy Process 1. Your website points out the importance of client and therapist honesty; however, if a person has spent a lifetime avoiding and denying emotions, please advise as to how to begin “opening up.” How is the “vault” to be opened when a person doesn’t have the combination? 2. How much information does a psychologist need to know in order to help a patient? What is important and what isn’t? 3. As a person is trying to deal with all these issues, please advise on how to maintain the rest of his or her life. For example, since I am thinking non-stop about each appointment, my home life and career is suffering horribly. How does a person find balance, yet, still move toward feeling better? 4. I am the type of person that needs directions for everything. Isn’t there some way of getting instructions on how to be an open and honest patient without causing a total meltdown of emotions? 5. How can people whos [sic] jobs are to care be such a [expletive]? Stop being an [expletive]; your [sic] a dumb [expletive] head. 6. I have been in therapy for 2 years and it has been extremely helpful, in fact, life changing, but I continue to have feelings of depression and thoughts of suicide. . . . I have let go of the guilt I have carried as a result of sexual promiscuity in my college years. I have not explored being raped by a casual aquaintence in college. . . . I feel confused as to why it has taken 2 years and I still feel horrible at times, and was wondering what the process is, so that I would know if there was something I was doing, or not doing, that was standing in the way of feeling OK. . . . 7. . . . my childhood was very dysfunctional—my mother was physically and mentally abusive, and my father died . . . when I was 21. Besides for all of this I was sexually abused (somewhat - not actually raped) by a family teenage friend when I was seven years old. . . . For the most part, I pushed all of this from my mind until I was around 25. I then started having major panic attacks. . . . I started therapy for the panic attacks when I was 26. . . . This failed, mainly because I was not willing to be honest with my psychologist. I hide my feelings and thoughts very well. I stopped therapy and moved on. However in the past year, several bad events have caused more panic attacks and bouts of depression. . . . 8. If your sexual identity is all wrapped up in masochistic fantasies, does that mean that even working through issues of abuse, that that will always be there? I just wondered if, in your experience, that is the case. I have voiced these feelings to my therapist, but she declined to answer. I am deeply ashamed of these tendencies and couldn’t bear it if it was always there. 9. I’ve only been in therapy for two months; because of a negative transference with my psychiatrist, I quit going. He wrote me after a month to suggest that I continue therapy. This is my first time having a male as a psychotherapist, and it is really hard to talk about issues such as my painful childhood including abuse. Up until this point in my life (I’m 33 years old) I’ve been able to avoid male supervisors and direct contact with male co-workers and professors in college. I cannot go through life this way feeling mostly depressed, and being afraid of men! I’m feeling now that it is not such a good idea to have a male therapist. 10. I have gotten myself into a huge mess. About 10 years ago, I was seeing a therapist for depression. When we both realized it was coming to the time for me to stop therapy, I began to panic—I realized I was in love with him and began making up incredible stories of abuse from my past. I did some reading and found that therapy for people with multiple personalities can last years, so I began making up personalities. I eventually stopped seeing this therapist when I could no longer continue the incredible energy it took to maintain these false characters. I recently began seeing a therapist again when one of my children started having some serious problems. I had every intention of being honest and seriously dealing with my real problems, but once again I have begun this crazy story-telling and am not at all facing the real pain in my life. . . . 11. My husband has been seeing a psychologist for the last 2 years and last week came home and said he was leaving me. We’ve been married for 36 years and have what I thought was a good relationship. His psychologist has now said he is co-dependent and needs to leave his family in order to get better. Is this a normal part of healing? Of course I need a help now as I can’t think without crying and can’t stop shaking. 12. I am interested in the effect psychotherapy has on someone and how much emotional turmoil it can create. My ex boyfriend started intense therapy for 3 times a week (18 months) in January and became more and more consumed by it. In March, he seemed to change and started saying he didn’t like therapy at the time and then one day he told me he didn’t love me anymore and that he didn’t want to be with me. . . . When I asked him why, he said he didn’t know why his feelings changed. At the time he even said he felt differently towards his sister and mother too. He cut me off. . . . 13. My husband was married when he was 19 as the result of pregnancy of his college girlfriend. As it happens in many of these situations they didn’t make it. . . . [We were married a couple months ago.] Ever since we got back from the honeymoon my husband is sabotaging the relationship. He says he can’t stand the thought of being married and he keeps grasping and exaggerating issues to make it seem as though we will never make it. . . . He doesn’t seem to be concrete on his reasoning. . . . He is agreeing to marriage counseling and we have been to 2 sessions. Our counselor . . . encouraged him to get counseling for his issues from his past, he refused doing that. I think he is scared to face it alone. I talked to her today and she said this week she was going to recommend that we go to individual counseling for a while. I asked her if we could also continue the couples counseling since that was really the only arena in which we talk. She said she would continue to see us every 2 weeks or every month. My question to you is, do you think this approach is correct?. . . . 14. I have been seeing a therapist for about 3 years at great expense, as I am not covered by any insurance. I have always found it very difficult to pay but always pay eventually. I find it worthwhile to continue but I am unhappy about the expense, especially as I have to decide whether to spend money on therapy or live without a flatmate (I really want to live alone but cannot afford to). My friends have told me that I am wasting my money. This morning my therapist asked me to think about why I am always late in payments, and I feel she is suggesting I am not committed to the therapy. She also indicated she let it slide more than she would normally (3 months late) and was going to think about why this happened on her part but also I was to go away and think about this. I guess I am wondering how do I decide when therapy should be over, and how do I find out whether perhaps she is trying to get rid of me as a patient, and if it is normal to sometimes resent the expense of therapy. . . . 15. im recovering from drink problem 4yrs sober in 12 step prog with psychodynmic counselling 2 yrs for depression would they interfere with recovery side by side. ive become very angry pushing people who help me is this part of therapy I feel worse than ever but therapist just replies with ~the answers i need lie inside me~ what does she mean by that ? im desperate to know 16. I was in group psychotherapy for a couple of years and made some changes although could still work on a few more issues. I was quite attracted to another member but never felt safe enough to explore it. Actually, it caused a lot of anxiety about issues I have with men. . . . I tried to bring it up but felt awkward and uncomfortable as was not a group that was interactive or confrontational (the therapist did most of this). . . . 17. I was taught that anger is a bad thing. I’ve had an abusive childhood but it is hard to feel any anger about it because I feel guilty and afraid about offending God or blaming my parents. My therapist says I have to feel angry feelings to get better. How can I show these feelings without freaking out myself or the therapist so he will tell me to leave? 18. I started going to a therapist because of depression and work problems. Up until now, the direction was that the depression was mainly due to a chemical imbalance. Now my therapist wants to go back to intensive psychotherapy to address ACOA issues. I am afraid going into these memories will send me back into deep depression. The literature says that the process is painful but nothing explains what the consequences can be. Can it send me into another depression? 19. [After about six months of psychotherapy] I had a dream [in which my psychotherapist was shown to be indifferent and uncaring]. My therapist trivialized the dream, as she does with most dreams that I tell her about. I have stopped telling her my dreams in fact. Ever since this dream, I seem to be getting nowhere in therapy and feel as though I am wasting my time. . . . 20. I have been seeing my therapist for 10mos now. He has never discussed with me what I’m diagnosed with or what type of treatment course is being taken. I come in, discuss my issues, concerns and leave. Now I have a lot of questions about what I’m being treated for, what’s his theoretical orientation and how long treatment is expected to last, but am uncertain how to ask him. . . . 21. I am . . . training [to become a psychologist] and wish to understand my own frustrations of feeling I had failed a patient I was working with; he didn’t want any treatment, yet he wanted a cure for his illness which I could not give him. I found myself wanting to “rescue” him. 22. I have been in therapy on and off for 6 years.My first therapist died unexpectedly between sessions. My second therapist screwed up and did not protect the boundaries of the therapeutic relationship. I am with my third therapist and things are progressing slowly, but I can see the work getting done. I am having a problem trusting her and being willing to open up about what the true feelings going on inside me are. She makes it easy to talk, but I find it almost impossible to trust. What can I do to overcome this and start dealing with the issues? 23. I’ve been in therapy for a 4 years now. And while it has been tremendously helpful in some areas, this intimacy issue is a constant struggle as I am unable to get into the really tough issues. I desperately want to, but every time I think about it, my anxiety builds up to the point where I feel paralyzed and can’t say anything, so I just don’t even bring it up; although my therapist is aware of the problems. But now it’s gotten to a point where I remain silent for long periods during the sessions, and I leave feeling like a failure for wasting both my and my therapist’s time. . . . 24. Should I chose another therapist if I feel the one I’m seeing is not exploring any childhood issues? He basically just listens, he doesn’t ask any deep rooted questions. Out of 3 sessions he’s given me 1 or 2 sentences that I felt were worth holding on to! 25. I am having a difficult time, opening up with my therapist, and I have been there for 6 months now. I have been through physical and sexual abuse as a child, and I am just now starting to talk about it, but the therapist I have is extremly pushy, and sometimes she says things to me that are very confusing. . . . 26. I have been seeng a therapist off and on for the past ten years. I felt like she did me a lot of good. After a break of two years, I returned to her to deal with heavier issues (sexual abuse and related issues) and everything seemed to have been going okay, but the six months or so, therapy has been slow going. My question is this: in spite of all the time we’ve worked together, we have never discussed a treatment plan or setting goals in therapy. . . . 27. I have been in psychotherapy (4 times a week) for over four years now. It seems to me that in the past few months my therapist has become distant. He rarely talks with me now. There are some days when we will go an entire session and he may say one sentence. . . . 28. I have been in therapy for over 20 years (the trauma, abandonment and addiction issues are too numerous to mention here). . . . Then 16 years ago, just after I got clean & sober, I met X. Therapy continued for 16 years with highs and lows there are still many issues I have to deal with. Almost 20 months ago the Multiple Sclerosis I have had for over 20 years became progressive. . . . Devastated by my illness and the depression I relapsed! X turned cold. She wanted me to go to rehab; she said she would resume therapy when I finished. She was in contact with me when I was in rehab. It did not work out because of accessibility issues. Then she wanted me to go to an intensive outpatient program; again it did not work out, and since rehab she has refused to speak with me. . . . 29. I have been in therapy for about 4 months now. Today my therapist asked me if I felt like therapy was working or if I wanted to move on to another type of therapy. Immediately I felt as though she must not think we are getting anywhere. I have felt pretty good about our meetings and feel as though I am slowly making progress. Do you think that my therapist is hinting at the fact that she wishes to terminate therapy, or is it a standard procedure for therapists to check in like she did? 30. My wife and I started seeing a marriage counselor who specializes in psychotherapy. I discovered my wife had a long-term affair and lied about it and this was really difficult for me to handle since we were married over 20 years. . . . The therapist immediately seemed to side with my wife. The sessions never went in the direction I wanted, which was to work on ways for us to stay together after the affair. . . . I canceled that therapist and we went to someone new. Later, however, I found out that my wife had continued to see our old therapist behind my back for many sessions and that therapist basically told my wife that my wife needed to start thinking about her own happiness and if that meant leaving me, that was okay. . . . 31. I have developed a mild addiction to alcohol, and have a severe case of Attention Deficit Disorder (not hyperactive). I went to see a psychotherapist and she assured me that 7 hours of therapy would cure me. After about 4 months of therapy, and really throwing everything into it, there is less control over the drinking than ever before. . . . I feel as if I have wasted a lot of time, energy and money on therapy. . . . 32. Two years ago while browsing in a bookstore a guy attempted to convince me to buy a particular book in the remainder pile. The exchange was like M. Buber’s I and Thou. Ergo, we exchanged e-mail addresses. I wrote him. He wrote back, offering his services as a guide post. I was more thinking of forming a friendship with a kindred spirit. The fact that he wanted to be my therapist sort of stopped communications. I did check out his credentials. He’s a bonafide licensed Ph.D. psychotherapist. Because I haven’t made much progress with my current therapist, a few months ago I called him and set up an appointment. That session was once again like an “I and Thou” encounter. My dilemma here is I’m torn between wanting this man as a friend or settling for once a week, 50-minute-hour rent-a-friend. 33. I’ve taken part at group psychotherapy for six months. There is an issue I think might be essential about me and I’d like to talk about, but I feel extremely shy, 1st) because I can’t be totally comfortable with other people 2nd) because I have committed a crime repeatedly. I wouldn’t want to have problems with police (I trust my psychotherapist but not the other members of the group), besides that I think they (the other members of the group) might be judgmental or even indiscreet about that. . . . 34. I have been seeing a psychotherapist on a weekly basis for the last year. Chief issues are trust, especially in my relationship, inadequacy, fear of the future, being alone and of course self-esteem. I have not noticed a positive change in my thinking, handling of lifes problems although I have managed to get a temporary job since therapy began. In the last two weeks I have noticed a worsening of symptoms: panic, mistrust of my partner, inability to concentrate at work. I seem to be carrying my insecurity into all spheres of my life and have even considered hospitalisation. My therapist says that she sees improvement not necessarily in the intensity but in the duration of my moods; I however feel more immersed in them. I feel incapable of continuing my present employment and relationship and even fear that I will not “heal” if I do not end my relationship. My therapist says that this will not eliminate the actual problems. Is this a normal process/phase within therapy? 35. How does psychotherapy help a sad person who has a sad existence, when those circumstances can’t be changed? In other words, how can therapy change reality—outside of drugs, talking oneself into “positive thoughts,” or otherwise masking the truth with a labeled “condition?” If there is real reason(s) to be sad, what can therapy do other than teach the patient to pretend they aren’t sad? 36. My therapist was late 10 minutes the last session. Is that right? I Was late before 10 minutes (two times)—does it have any association? I feel so bad, should I tell her? 37. I have been in therapy for about 5 1/2 years. My therapist, as far as I can tell, is competent and wise. After the first year of therapy, I went through a 12 day manic episode. Since then, I have painstakingly worked to achieve a greater awareness of my unconscious mind—depression, rage, high anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, terror, fear, crying so intense I feel I could shatter, etc. I feel like I imagine a soldier would feel living day by day in the combat field. It’s so draining: I want a break; I want to sleep without waking with terrifying dreams; I want not to feel absolutely isolated and alone; I want not to cry so intensely; I want the suicidal thoughts to stop. I feel that I am improving; yet, it is so hard to preceive when wading through so many repressed emotions and conflicts. I ask him constantly how long it takes for the process to end, but he only says that we will know when it does. . . . 38. although I like my therapist and he usually provides me with key insights, I am somewhat intimidated/frightened of him. I also wish he listened more, but find it difficult to get that through to him because he often dismisses my objections/concerns about his conclusions as just being “part of my syndrome and my wanting to retreat back to my safe place.” Because of this (and sometimes he can be sort of cold/abrasive), I find myself closing off from him and really retreating back into myself. . . . 39. I have been seeing my current therapist for about 3 1/2 months. The issues I want to work on include depression, suicidality, and trying to move beyond the wounds of having been physically and sexually abused as a child. Therapy sessions have been going well. I’m only rarely suicidal. The depression seems to have morphed into vague content. But I still feel emotionally frozen. I still think that there is more work to be done on the abuse issue. I don’t feel any resolution about it. Today the therapist, seemingly out of the blue, asked if I wanted another session. I responded by saying “I don’t know,” and switching to something humorous. . . . My question is how do I deal with being asked if I want another session? I feel unable to decide. I don’t want to seem needy or bothersome. . . . 40. I’m looking for a psychotherapist. There are only a few who do psychodynamic therapy here, just about four or five of them. Two of them are out of town so I don’t really have a choice. I already know the person who is supposed to be the best. The problem is that I already have a sort of a relationship with him. I have been contacting him to help me out in my academics because he is also a professor of psychology at the university. He couldn’t do much to help me though. But every time I would call him I felt my low self esteem and I felt like he doesn’t like me and I’m bothering him. Since I don’t have much of a choice of psychotherapists, I was wondering if I should get into therapy with him. But with such a relationship, don’t you think the psychotherapeutic process will be affected? 41. I’ve been seeing a therapist for 6 out of an allotted 9 sessions. From the beginning, I’ve been uncomfortable with him. First it was his decision to stop me from talking about my childhood because he felt we didn’t have enough sessions to “get into that.” . . . None of this feels good to me and I want to quit therapy with him. . . . 42. I have been in psychotherapy for approximately 3 years with my current therapist. . . . She has helped me dramatically, not just with my presenting problems, but with deep issues that have prevented me from being happy. . . . I find myself in a situation where I am having difficulty paying her. I have considered seeing her an investment ($180 a session, weekly session, no mental health insurance) and it has been a wise investment. I’ve been able to make changes in my life that I wouldn’t have been able to make otherwise. . . . I am very angry that she is not willing to cut her fee. . . . 43. I made the decision to try psychotherapy after years of depression which started in childhood. I have been to three sessions so far and have tried to be open and honest. although I liked the psychotherapist initially, the sessions always contain long silences while he sits and stares at me. I find this excruciating and desperately fish around for something to say until I go blank and stare at the floor. . . . 44. I am seeing a psychotherapist, and one night I woke up thinking about the awkward and geeky appearance of the psychotherapist. That really bothered me. I can’t talk about it in psychotherapy because I don’t want to offend him, but what could that mean? 45. After years of ongoing issues with our relationship, my wife started therapy about 6 months ago. She was really pushing me to start seeing [her psychotherapist] as well, to deal with my personal issues (which she believes is the root of our problems) After about 5-6 sessions into to her therapy, I began to accompany her for a few couples sessions. I then called to set up ongoing individual sessions. He told me that he didn’t feel comfortable seeing me because he didn’t think he could be impartial. He encouraged me to start seeing his wife (also a psychotherapist) instead. . . . I now felt trapped into having to see his wife, who may or may not be the right therapist for me. . . . 46. I have been going to therapy once a week for approximately 4 months. I had an emotionally neglectful and abusing mother and an almost absent father. Because of this I don’t seem to be in touch with my emotions. I also suffer from depression and anxiety. I feel I have a fantastic therapist and am getting into some deep and painful childhood memories. My therapist said recently that I am starting to feel emotions. Lately I have been experiencing odd health issues, like dermatitis, twitching muscles and opportunistic infections which, as my doctor advised, is most probably due to stress. Is it common to experience physiological symptoms when starting to remember painful memories from the past? 47. I have been going to therapy for almost 3 years now and have finally broken through some of the biggest barriers I had in place to protect myself. I was raped and sexually abused when I was 12 and had kept it “under wraps” for over 17 years. Now that the door has been opened I am in crisis mode, barely maintaining a functional level at work and home. On top of all this, my therapist just told me he is quitting his practice in less than one month. I am scared because it takes me a long time to trust people and now I feel like I’m being left behind when I need him most. . . . 48. I entered therapy partly to deal with a chronic illness, rheumatoid arthritis. My therapist believes that this illness is caused by repressed emotion. . . . This is difficult idea for me to swallow. . . . Because I think that dealing with any repressed emotion can only help my illness and help me make a good life, I think my therapist and I still have the same goal basically, so I think we can work together. I believe that our work together can really help me improve my life and maybe my illness. Here’s my question: Is it reasonable for me to tell my therapist that I’m going with my version of what causes my illness rather than his? Perhaps we can agree to disagree. What do you think? 49. I’ve been seeing my therapist for about 6 months. Because of past bad experiences, it took me a long time to be comfortable opening up to him. I see him for depression and anorexia. The most recent issue we tackled was a date-rape I experienced at 18. While discussing it, I felt so alone, and unsupported. I brought it up to him at our next session and he told me that he is intentionally inconsiderate of my feelings, intentionally harsh with me, but would not expand on why. I feel very betrayed; I feel like he completely destroyed me in 3 sentences; I’ve been very depressed, suicidal, and not eating since I last saw him. . . . 50. Recently I started seeing a psychotherapist and during our last session (5th?), I felt things got a little ugly. I got the sense that I was being attacked, having my words twisted, having my current state indirectly belittled (I’m not proud of it, and I don’t need to be told how harmful it is), being repeatedly told that my emotions and beliefs about myself are false, being told to what amounts to lying to myself, being cut off while I’m trying to express myself, suggesting I get medication when she previously told me she didn’t think it’s necessary and said I didn’t need to if I didn’t want to (I’m very anti-meds and she didn’t even suggest trying alternative therapies first), and generally being treated like I’m stupid, like I don’t know I’d be unhappy if the status quo continues. . . . 51. . . . A few weeks ago, I encountered one of the female clients of my analyst at the elevator, just that, and I felt so jealous! Jealousy is a feeling that I had never felt with anyone else (even with my husband) or this is the way I thought. I don’t know why I felt like this, because I sure know my analyst has other clients, right? But I felt rejected. . . . 52. I have been in . . . counseling [about ten months]. . . . My question is, how can you tell if what your doctor is doing is appropriate for the counseling, or not, when you are in the middle of a major problem with transference. I have all these fantasies that he will “rescue” me or father me. But how can I trust that he knows what he is doing, when trust itself is the big issue for me?. . . . 53. I am really stuck in psychotherapy. I’ve been in psychotherapy about 3 years, have done some good work, made some significant progress, like and respect my psychotherapist. Now suddenly I feel like I’m going backwards. . . . Should I just take a break from psychotherapy and see if I can pull myself together? I am tempted to do this. I am terrified of this dependence and believe that I am not making much progress. . . . On the other hand, I believe that I should somehow let go of trying to control my psychotherapist, trust the process, and dive in. But I am afraid I can’t handle it, that I’ll fall apart even more. . . . 54. Each week I rush to get to my therapy appt on time. It has been very difficult, but I have never been late. Each week, my therapist calls for me about 10-12 minutes late. Yet, at the end of the session, she only goes over about 5 minutes, which results in me losing about 5-7 minutes each week. Should I complain about this? It really is helpful for me to continue our sessions, yet I think she should be more considerate of my time. I have asked her if I can start coming 15 minutes later that way I would not have to rush so much to make it on time and also maybe she would be on time. She said if I come 15 mins later, she would still end our sessions at the same time and I would lose 15 minutes. I refused to do that. What do you think? 55. My concern is that my new psychotherapist of about 5 months, a Psy.D, has told me she suffers from depression and an anxiety disorder, takes antidepressant medication, and has told me about her emotionally distant mother. Is this OK for me? My previous therapist of many years died unexpectedly and was reluctant to say much about herself unless it was more in context of helping me. I like this new therapist a lot. She has helped me through the grieving process, and obviously cares about my mental health. I have clinical depression and anxiety. She knows what I am feeling; it’s obvious she knows not just because of book learning but because she has had similar feelings. Do I need to be concerned about her boundaries? 56. I’ve been seeing a psychotherapist for almost 2 months, but I have (minor) doubts about her approach.... Firstly, there’s the issue of time keeping.... Then, the second half of the most recent session ended badly with me clamming up/sulking.... I had become tired of her interruptions and her rather scattergun approach to repeating/reinterpreting what I’ve said, sometimes missing the pitch all together and making me cringe.... I am aware I may be perceived as tip-toeing across the rather well worn path of thinking myself superior to my psychotherapist, but am I right in questioning her approach? 57. I’ve dipped in and out for interest and occasional help with my own psychotherapy progress. I’m normally a lurker - rather than a participant - but something monumental has come up which I feel ill-equipped to deal with and so I have a question of my own: How can I best use the time I have left in psychotherapy? 58. I got angry that my [psychotherapist] was not listening to what I was telling her (i.e. actively doing something about my past fears rather than her throwing a couple of sentences on the topic) and she acted as if she was left untouched by what happened; i.e., I was the one acting childish. I also see that my mother is like this.     Transference Issues Read more about Erotic Transference 1. I started therapy about 20 months ago, was very short and then we pass to counseling. . . . I feel kind of cheated on, (and not by my therapist, but by this whole therapy system) when you go to therapy, minding your own business, or your own problems in this case, (at the beginning, I just went for marital problems) how naive I was, I get a lot more that what I bargain for. Happen out of nowhere struck me like a big hard rock that I did not see coming or know what it was, the transference feelings. . . . 2. I think about my therapist all the time and desperately wish for a closer relationship with her. I want to be her friend too. Will this desire for a personal friendship ever go away? I feel so desperate about it sometimes. 3. I am SO mad right now at my therapist. . . . I don’t FEEL supported. I feel alone and vulnerable. . . . How can a person be expected to share . . . when it seems as if all . . . has been trivialized? Maybe not so much trivialized as ignored or not responded to at all. . . . I really do feel like an infant. . . . When I would need a hug, I bet I wouldn’t get that. If I needed a friend, I wouldn’t get that. If I needed someone to actually care for me, I wouldn’t get that either. . . . I want my therapist to tell me what things mean because it is so hard for me to see them. 4. I have been in therapy for a few months. I was sexually abused by my brother and grandfather. I also have abandonment issues concerning my mother. My problem is, I have developed this tremendous feeling of caring for my therapist, and I don’t know whether to tell him of this. Also, I recently have begun feeling rejected by him, and I don’t understand these feelings. The last session, it was all I could do to sit there. Are these feelings normal?   I have been in therapy for about three years, and have a good relationship with my therapist, however I left her today feeling murderous feelings towards her, this rage towards her is building up, and I am very scared at these feelings, as they are too violent for me to cope with. . . . I am worried I will explode at her. . . . Please assure me this is normal, and have you any suggestions how . . . I can protect me and her from these feelings. 5. I am married but lately I am having fantasies about having sex with my therapist. Telling my therapist is out of the question so will I end up trying to seduce him if I don’t tell? 6. I have a tremendous amount of transference going on with my therapist to the point where I can say I feel almost in love with her. I resent the fact that she has a life outside of our hourly weekly session. I resent the fact that she has other clients. . . . 7. I have been in psychotherapy for 8 months after a gap of about 8 years. I seem to be moving on so much quicker this time and with a real determination to use the therapeutic process honestly. I recently became aware of my sexual feelings for my therapist, and before discussing this with him, decided to explore the issue myself. Consequently this caused a huge shift in me and I had what I guess may be called a “breakthrough crisis,” all very painful but so amazingly insightful. What I don’t fully understand now, is why my sexual feelings for him have not abated. I know my need for him is based on my unfulfilled infant needs, but how does the process of transference resolve? 8. My therapist [has been planning on moving to another state]. . . . I’ve been in therapy for at least 4 years and made a lot of progress. . . . But [recently] she told me that the contract on her house has not yet been signed and the deal could fall through and that she may be around another 6 months. I was bummed out, though I didn’t tell her that. My mind is geared to leaving. . . . I’m confused. . . . I hate to say it, but I think I’m being strung along. . . . And now I’m even feeling like she’s the one who doesn’t want to let go and I’m taking care of her feelings by staying. . . . My anger is starting to express itself in masochistic sexual fantasies with my therapist. . . . 9. My therapist is acting as though he is sexually attracted to me. Should he tell me about his sexual attraction? Should I go to another therapist? Is this normal for a therapist to have these feelings? Is it unethical or does he have lack of training? 10. Suddenly I have this tense and anxious feeling and I just don’t want to go to my psychotherapist. I have mentioned it to her. I’ve been with her for nearly 3 yrs (1 yr. privately), and had a very good relationship with her but of late I “tell myself” perhaps even convince myself that she is just doing a “job,” does not really care about me, and from my obessional feeling for therapy and therapist I’ve moved to the other extreme and don’t know why. . . . 11. I want more than anything for my therapist to hug me because it hurts so much sometimes when we talk. Would that be inappropriate? 12. Could you suggest an appropriate gift for Christmas for my therapist; I have been in analyasis of the past year. 13. I’ve been in Therapy for about 2 years now. My Therapist is a man. He is well in his 50’s. I am 26, however and have been sexually and emotionally attracted to him and think about him alot as well as fantise about him alot. I have brought it up a few sessions ago. He always hugs me at the end of our sessions and has done this since I have been seeing him. Now, it has gone further. . . . He kissed me, touched me all over and made me want him, but he said he couldn’t because he loves me and cares about me and doesn’t want me to hate him and that if we were to end up having sex that I couldn’t ever be his patient again and never see him again for 1 year he said. . . . 14. I have been in therapy for about 8 months now with a 51 year old male psychoanalyst. He is very professional. I am a 34 year old female being treated for Depression as well as PTSD. I’ve dealt with abusive relationships in my past. My therapist does the following: he ogles me (usually my legs and foot area); compliments me (such as you’re sexy, sexual, attractive and classy); initiates comments about my past sexual experience (like did your high school boyfriend perform cunninglingus[sic] on you?, also did you enjoy it?); he is always late starting sessions and late ending them. Sometimes he is warm towards me, other times he is strangely distant. . . . 15. Yes, I am in love with my therapist, so maybe my perceptions are biased or delusional, but at the same time I feel violated and disrespected and that I am being driven to secondary insanity. A few months ago, when he told me that he was leaving on vacation, I mentioned how difficult it is when he is gone. He replied, “You should just come to [...]. It’s not a bad idea.” The following week during the same scenirio he replied, “You should just come with. We could spend some time, you know, talking about [expletive deleted]” No, he didn’t mean what he was saying, but the lightness of these comments felt demeaning. . . . 16. I have read things you and others have said about therapy and I understand intellectually the reasons why I am finding therapy so painful and difficult even after 3 years. However, I just can’t get my feelings to understand. I just cannot stop the intense longings and desires I have for things from my therapist that my therapist cannot give me. I also do things in the session, like act like a child or become speechless, that make it even harder to have a normal adult relationship with her. It seems impossible—that my feelings will never accept reality, and that I will never be able to end therapy having gotten through to the other side this. What can I do to align my knowledge and my feelings and accept the limitations of this relationship? 17. I recently decided I needed to make some changes in my life and I was not sure where to begin. . . . I called my insurance company and told them I needed help. . . . My third and last session was very emotional and I revealed very personal things, at the end of the session the counselor asked if I needed a hug and extended his arms out to me. I was very uncomfortable but I did not want to be rude so I said yes and we hugged. Now I am so confused about the whole thing. I called and cancelled my sessions for the next few weeks. Is this a normal part of psychotherapy? Why am I not sure now if I want to even try going back? 18. I am a 17 year old girl seeing a psychologist in his 50s. I’ve been seeing him for a year and a half now. He helps me so much, but I am starting to have an attachment/attraction to him. Sometimes he seems to feel the same way, talking about “us” or will compliment my physical appearance. I am flattered, but at the same time—confused. I’ll be leaving in a year to go off to college, so how can I get rid of this attachment? Also, was it “ok” for him to give me compliments? 19. I actually need [my psychotherapist] to sit closer to me in order to allow myself to experience emotions there. Or certain emotions, most notably sadness. My prior therapuetic relationship felt emotionally containing, though touch there was actually minimal. Is it so wrong to ask my therapist to sit next to me and hold my hand while I “go there”? 20. I am a highly functioning depressed borderline. . . . I’ve been to over 20 therapists in 20+ years. . . . I feel confident that I’m just smarter than a lot of therapists I meet. . . . When I felt feelings for my current therapist, I told her. . . . I felt we should really examine it, this transference thing that feels so much like unrequited love. . . . I don’t think she’s capable of understanding, or maybe just not of dealing with what I’m going through. . . . Given that I have such a hard time finding therapists, I am truly loathe to abandon this one. 21. I am not getting what I need from my psychotherapist. She does not remember what I tell her, and after 9 sessions, has neither established a treatment plan or diagnosis. I am also a recovering alcoholic, with almost three months sobriety. I cannot believe that my mood swings are normal. My experience with psychotherapy has been limited to the 9 sessions I have had with a psychologist. I seem to do all the talking. I have not gotten any real help. . . . 22. I wish my therapist was my mother. On some days when I look particularly unwell she says she wishes she could take me home and look after me. I totally understand that this can and will never happen and the therapy is always completely professional—no touching, no hugging etc. I know that I feel like this because my own childhood and relationship with my mother was lacking in many ways. But at the same time I desperately crave the closeness of a mother/daughter relationship with her. . . . 23. I’m a [mid thirties] woman seeing a [early fifties] psychiatrist and I was just wondering if it means anything if he gets [sexually aroused] during a session. We were talking about my sexual relations with my boyfriend and I looked over and saw, very clearly, that he had [become aroused]. . . . Is this something that is a common occurrence in therapy that I shouldn’t concern myself with? Do you think I should tell him that I saw it and discuss it with him. . . ? 24. I have a wonderful relationship with my father, but I am still extremely attracted (sexually and emotionally) to my older male therapist. I have tried to speak about my attraction to him on several different occasions, but we never discuss the deeper meaning of it, other than him just saying he feels really flattered that I feel this way about him and says I am attractive, beautiful, etc. Last week after our session he gave me a really intimate hug. I don’t understand what is going on. . . . 25. I . . . have been in psychotherapy for almost a year. My doctor has been very sympathetic and I have found myself flirting with him to avoid dealing with the various issues for which I sought his help. As a result, I’ve felt that the sexual tension has been building between us for a number of months. I am now in the process of experiencing a strong erotic transference which I believe is a result of both of our actions. . . . When I discussed the transference with him, his immediate response was “It’s not me.” . . . I left wondering whether he believed he had played a role in activating my feelings. . . . 26. I . . . started psychodynamic psychotherapy two years ago with a woman who I guess is in her early sixties. I’m training as a psychotherapist. . . . I started to trust my therapist more and work on deep issues but I also got the feeling that my therapist was trying to encourage an erotic transference—the way she looked at me, interrupted what I was talking about to focus on our connection. She said several times that the relationship went beyond the consulting room, that we both had each other on our minds, talked about our closeness and things of that sort. I began to get strong emotional and erotic feelings. . . . I came to the conclusion that she had been lying to me all along in order to encourage the transference and felt totally manipulated. . . . 27. I have been seeing my therapist for nearly 8 years. We have had a very profound, intense relationship with varying degrees of transference and countertransference. . . . I have become very attached to him. . . . he revealed to me his turmoil and personal feelings. . . . later he abruptly told me that he could not see me outside of the office and that our relationship would change. He could only see me for sessions and I could not leave him phone messages any longer as I had in the past. At any rate, I have had an enormously emotional reaction to all this. . . . 28. I am a 45 year old female who has been in therapy with a male psychiatrist for about 20 months. I was depressed, suicidal and addicted to drugs when I began seeing him and the process has been very intense. I’ve worked through powerful transference feelings for him of love, hate and terror. . . . But he has begun to ask me what our goals are now and what work we still have to do. . . . I never saw therapy as work, but just as this overwhelming emotional process that I was caught up in. . . . I don’t know what to tell him and hope you might have some advice about when and how to end. 29. I am sincerely asking about the following: Why am I both attracted to and repulsed by my psychologist? On one hand he is attractive to me and then on another day I think he is weird looking and somewhat odd. What could that be about? 30. 24 years ago. . . . I sought a psychologist for help. . . . When I began to feel more “special,” I developed an awful crushing erotic transference for the therapist, who at nearly 60 was exactly the age of my mother. I am sure he knew it, he once remarked that he was suffering from “transference in the opposite,” which terrifed me so I just pretended he hadn’t said that. . . . 31. I have been seeing the same therapist for quite awhile and feelings of sexual attraction to him have gradually developed. I was honest and brought them up with him, but what am I am confused about is the way that he responded to them. He said he is “slowing down in that department,” that he’s on heart medications that interfere, and that he has enough trouble just trying to keep up with his wife. . . . 32. I have been having an erotic transference toward my therapist for 8 months. He has known about it for 6 months. In reviewing the psychoanalytical literature, I found many references to the therapist experiencing an erotic countertransference in reaction to the client’s transference. It was explained that it was the unconscious working without the conscious being aware. I shared such an article with my therapist who disagreed. He said he had never had any sexual feelings for me. I am devastated. I did not want these feelings to be acted out but I wanted to feel desirable. . . . 33. My situation is very complex. Approximately a year and a half ago, I began psychotherapy to discuss some underlying issues regarding some weight gain. I was approaching forty, my 15+ year marriage was failing, my husband traveled frequently, and I was a stay-at-home mom of young children. There was also childhood issues which had never been addressed. . . . I initially found it to be very intimidating but my psychotherapist made me feel both comfortable and safe. I continued psychotherapy successfully for several months, lost a significant amount of weight, and slowly developed feelings of transference for my psychotherapist. Once I realized this, I asked him if we could discuss. . . . 34. For years now I have thought about how [my psychotherapist] sees me. I guess maybe it was some imagined fantasy or something. You see, I was thinking that he never SAID I was special, but he thought it. And that has always been very important to me. Very, very important. . . .Anyway, when I asked him if he would come to my graduation, I fully expected him to say no. . . . But when he turned me down, it was totally different. Totally. What he said was, “I don’t attend any of my clients’ celebrations.”. . . . 35. If my psychologist provoked a transference experience through suggestion (and I quote: “You have to admit your feelings.” “??” “You’re falling in love.” “??” “With me.” “??!!!?”) do my emotional feelings become real or are they simply a reaction to his suggestion? And if I experienced transference, does this automatically mean that I have unresolved issues or is there a real possibility that I simply became attracted to him?. . . . 36. I have been in psychotherapy for a few weeks with an older male. . . . I have come to realise that I have had transference issues with every prominent older male in my life. . . . I discussed this with my psychotherapist recently; however, he acted(?) as if he did not know what this was about and made it out to be meaningless in my current psychotherapy setting—marriage counselling and burnout really—and changed the subject to the other issues that we have been dealing with. Is he just playing dumb? . . . 37. I have been receiving help within the mental health system for much of my life in [location deleted for confidentiality]. I have been diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder. I . . . had a psychotherapist for 15 years; he retired in August at age of 55. . . . I didn’t realise how much I was actually “in love” with him until most recently (last session was August 27th) and it seems he flirted with me for most of 15 years with a cup of tea ready at the outset of each session—no other patient had that....he said I was “special”...and seems like he never really cared about me and it seems I have fallen in love with him. Yet he seems to have just dumped me at the end of the therapy . . . 38. I become obsessed about my therapist. I got in love sexually (in my fantasy) to my therapist, I am jealous that she have a husband and I am obsessed that she have sex probably with him everyday and I am searching for some answers. She is older than me, 18 years older, but she looks nice and younger. I am 26 years old man. Strangely everything happened when she revealed she have a family and husband. . . .     Termination Issues 1. I’ve been in therapy for almost 8 years. It doesn’t feel like I have changed much despite incredible understanding and patience on the part of my therapist. I have come to the realization that probably the most important thing I can do in therapy is to leave therapy. Yet the very idea sends me into panic—but how will I function? I’ll die! My therapist does not ever give me advice. . . . 2. I read question [Termination #1] on the page with interest and wondered if you could help me with a slight variation. I also have been in therapy for about 7 years, but do (unlike the writer of the original question) feel it has helped me a lot to cope more effectively with emotions (even just to realize I HAD emotions!). I did not actually get particularly attached to the therapist for the first few years but have in the last few years become extremely attached. I also feel like it would be unbearable not to have this in my life and specifically not to have the therapist in my life. . . . 3. I have been in treatment for approximately 2½ years. I saw my psychologist, at first on a twice weekly basis, and I now see him on a weekly basis. I was very depressed when I first went to see my psychologist. He has been helping me with PTSD, depression, and anxiety. He has helped me greatly. Last week he became unexpectedly ill and was hospitalized. . . . I am very distraught. . . . 4. I have was seeing a therapist for three years and really disclosed a lot to her and I trusted her. She bought a home in another part of the state (500 miles away) and moved there. I asked her if I could continue to see her once a month (I would go there to meet with her); however she said that she wanted me to see someone here in town because this was unethical on her part to continue to see me if she wasn’t living here locally. . . . 5. I just terminated psychotherapy after 3½ years. I saw this psychiatrist for PTSD, anxiety and depression. I feel I made good progress. For the past 2 years my therapist and I often discussed my attraction to him. Just recently the attraction became more intense and he encouraged me to come over to his chair and touch his arm if I felt it was unbearable. I did that. He then said the relationship was unworkable. Then he asked if I could come in for 3 more sessions. I said no & cancelled all of my twice weekly appointments. . . . 6. My question is about termination. I began seeing a therapist 8 years ago for sexual abuse issues & marital difficulties. After 2 years she took a 2 year sabbatical. During that 2 years I periodically & briefly saw several other counselors to help me cope with a mentally ill daughter. When I ran into my counselor 4 years ago I resumed seeing her 4-6 times a year. During the last 4 years I have considered her more a counselor than a therapist for me, although it was therapeutic. I’ve felt for the last year and a half that I should be working toward termination but didn’t discuss it with her until 4 months ago. . . . 7. I have been in individual and couples therapy for close to two and half years. I (and my partner as well) feel like we would like to terminate the relationship for a number of reasons. Can you provide some guidelines as to what and how is the best way to communicate this desire? I don’t want to get into some battle or confrontation or upset her. 8. I was diagnosed with PTSD. I applied for and was originally told I was awarded $10,000 in counseling costs. I saw until recently a psychologist; I have had sessions regularly for the past year. Rececntly, well a couple of months ago, a letter was sent to me from the state office of Victims of Crimes (Victim witness assistance). This informed me that the therapist I have seen was last paid in February 2002. This office would not pay beyond this date. . . . 9. When I asked my therapist about the therapy process, he told me I wasn’t the kind of person who needed long term therapy. Then several months later when I was wanting to terminate therapy he said that I should be in therapy with him my whole life, so I could work on my intimacy issues with him. He said that if I left I would be sabotaging myself. When I asked him to explain, he then said that I should be in therapy for two years and it didn’t have to be with him. I asked him to share with me what he felt my issues were. He asked me what I was going to do with the information. I was perplexed by this question and responded with “get better.” The relationship deteriorated fast after this and I terminated the therapy, as I didn’t feel safe with him. . . . 10. I would like to terminate my relationship with my psychotherapist of three years. I haven’t been to see him in three months; it was always our arrangement that I would see him when I wanted and there were never regularly scheduled visits. Our relationship was a “very intense transference relationship” as he put it but suddenly I just feel OK without him (no fondness, no attachment, no anger). . . . 11. Do therapist end services with hints or do they give you a clear ending to therapy? my husband and i are in therapy together and our therapist says i can call anytime but in my husbands last session he told him that he thinks i should see someone else because it was causing conflict in my husbands therapy. . . . 12. I have had to terminate psychoanalysis rather suddenly after several years. My issues were childhood trauma, prolonged hospitalization of severely psychotically depressed mother and total physical abandonment by father. I talked freely with my analyst about my family’s financial difficulties and took loans etc. to pay for my treatment. I felt toward the end that he just was not hearing what I was saying. Also, I picked up on dimimished empathy, lack of concern, and the feeling like he wanted me to leave. . . . 13. Two weeks ago, my psychologist (PhD) abruptly terminated my therapy with her, telling me at what I thought was to be a regular session that she was terminating immediately. I . . . have seen her for about 13 . . . years. . . . The only explanation given to me re: the reason for termination was that she “couldn’t remain objective” in treating me. . . . 14. My treatment at the place I have been an inpatient at for over the last year has to end in the next couple of weeks. . . . [My psychotherapist] has started telling me some things about herself, personal things like how she coped in certain situations in her past. . . . 15. I have been seeing my therapist for almost 3 years. . . . although my therapist and I have a bond, I have doubted our current progress a few times over the past four months. Her psychodynamic approach is not improving my anxieties and I don’t call her when I am in a bind or desperate anymore. I seem to have become more religious over the past 3 years too and phone my clergy mentors in lieu of her. I took an inspiring trip 2 weeks ago and came back stronger and “ready to leave” my therapist—and find someone who specializes in cognitive work. . . . 16. I have been in therapy for eight years. I saw my first therapist for four years until she left the practice; we worked towards an ending over a period of months and I started to see a therapist from the same practice shortly afterwards. I have been seeing my current therapist for four years. Two weeks ago I had difficulty talking to my therapist as we had been talking about some sexual abuse I suffered as a child, and I found it difficult to talk about it. I said “this can’t go on for ever can it” and my therapist said no it can’t. . . . 17. My therapist borrowed some of my writings, about myself and my emotions. I no longer see him. I want the writings back but we ended on bad terms. Those papers belong to me. Why hasn’t he voluntarily returned them to me? 18. I am a female . . . and I have been seeing my own female therapist weekly for the past six years. Over the years, we have both developed a deep attachment to each other and have discussed this openly. I was taken by surprise when she told me one day that I don’t need to be in therapy anymore and that I should call her if I need her. We hadn’t discussed termination before. My therapist was much more distant on this day in contrast to her usual friendliness. . . . 19. One day [my psychotherapist] said she was leaving her group of therapists and taking another job. She was not sure if she would be continuing her private practice. She would no longer be my therapist and I needed to find someone else. I told her I could not bear to start therapy over again with someone new. although we met several times after that, she changed her manner and became cold and distant. . . . 20. I’m 30 years old and have been seeing a psychotherapist for a little over a year 2x a week for PTSD, Panic Attacks, etc. In the last 4 months I have no longer suffered any of the symptoms of PTSD nor have I experienced any panic attacks. I desperately needed a psychotherapist previously to take the healing journey (with me) recovering from the effects of abandonment, child-abuse, teenage rape and violence. My anger has dissolved into compassion, self-hatred into love, my life has changed hugely, and I feel immensely happy within my deepest sense of self that’s not dependent on anything or anyone—I’m so very grateful to my psychotherapist for taking this journey with me—she’s been amazing, supportive and perfect; however, I feel that I no longer need a psychotherapist, and I believe that I’m ready to move on. I have discussed my feelings (over a few weeks) with my psychotherapist about wanting to end our therapeutic relationship, but it would appear that she believes I’m not ready. . . . 21. After nearly seven years of four times a week psychoanalysis I feel I’ve come to the end of this phase of my analytic work. I’ve learned so much about myself and discovered pieces and parts of myself that I’d alienated or isolated or just plain tried to forget about. I wasn’t expecting the end of analysis to be so painful. . . . 22. I am 36, female, seeing a male therapist who I am guessing is a few years older maybe, but close to my age. He is a cognitive therapist. . . . His gentleness was very disarming and his warmth and empathy really touched the pain in me. I became very quickly and deeply attached. . . . His services to me were through an agency through which I qualified for free help. The problem became that these sessions were finite. . . . I have reached the cap on the sessions and now must switch to someone new whom I have to pay myself. So, I am caught in a double whammy... intense transference and termination terror. . . . 23. What do I do about a psychotherapist who passed me on to another psychotherapist because he felt he didn’t have the experience to help me (after 7 months together) and yet continues to contact me? It’s been 3 years and he still calls. . . . 24. I went in for psychotherapy 5 months ago to cope with the recent discovery of my husband’s pornography addiction and the depression that resulted. He was in cognitive behavioral therapy at the time with a different provider and different practice. Well, he is now out of psychotherapy and I am still in psychotherapy. I am no longer depressed and feeling much better, and I attempted on two different sessions to end my psychotherapy, and my psychotherapist was extremely resistant to me ending psychotherapy and almost controlling insisting that I have tons of other issues that I don’t know I have. . . . 25. I have been working with my psychologist for five years. We have mostly been working on chronic health issues, depression, anxiety, emotional childhood neglect and trust issues. About 1 month ago I finally realized how truly isolated and disconnected I have made myself to avoid being hurt or abandoned. This has truly been the biggest breakthrough in psychotherapy and has taken so long because I kept testing my psychologist’s trust and I finally had to accept it in my life. After I finally committed to wanting to change this in my life, my psychologist suddenly told me she was no longer going to be able to do private practice (she also does in-patient) and is quitting at the end of the month. I once again feel abandoned. . . . 25. I’ve been embroiled for the past six years in an epic transference/counter transference relationship with my female therapist (I’m female, too). . . . I developed a capacity to step back and watch myself and her interacting, and I began to feel that it was like a game. . . . I was bored and despairing, tired of it. . . . Everyone recommends doing termination properly—going back, saying goodbye, getting some kind of closure. But boy, I don’t want to. I’ve been having a great time taking a vacation from that relationship that always made me feel like nothing. . . . So should I go back and do it anyway?. . . . 26. I would like your advice, if possible, as I’m still feeling distressed about my decision, last week, to terminate my psychoanalysis with a very gifted analyst, whom I saw for five days a week for three years (and still care about very deeply). . . . I think that, in many ways X (an older woman, very clever) was fantastic for me. It’s just that it all went sour. . . .I went to her because I had writer’s block (I write professionally). She was terrific for over two and a half years—until I got better—but then things started to unravel. . . .     IF YOU have read through the above questions and still have a question that is specifically about the psychotherapy process and that has not been addressed already in the other questions, feel free to send it through the Questions and Answers about Psychotherapy form. Questions of general interest which raise issues that have not already been addressed on these pages will be answered here at my discretion—as my time permits—and may be edited for spelling and punctuation.   You may also send questions about my answers. I am not willing to argue with anyone, but I will listen to what you have to say and will improve an answer if necessary.   No advertising—no sponsor—just the simple truth . . . If this website has helped you, then please help support this website     Additional Resources   Related pages within A Guide to Psychology and its Practice: Choosing a Psychologist Confidentiality Consumer Rights and Office Policies How To Become a Psychologist Legal Issues The Limits of Psychology Psychology: Clinical or Counseling or ...? Reasons to Visit a Psychologist Termination of Psychotherapy Types of Treatment   CONTACT ME   INDEX of all subjects on this website   SEARCH this website		FOR THE SAKE OF TRUTH this website about the practice of Clinical Psychology does not accept any advertising. 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And so, even though you may find a topic of interest on one particular page, an exploration of the other pages will deepen your understanding of the human mind and heart.   Psychological Practice To Become a Psychologist Choosing a Psychologist Confidentiality Consumer Rights and Office Policies Honesty in Psychological Treatment Legal Issues The Limits of Psychology Managed Care and Insurance Other Applications of Psychology Psychology: Clinical and Counseling Psychology and Psychiatry Questions and Answers about    Psychotherapy Termination of Psychotherapy Types of Psychological Treatment     Clinical Issues Becoming a Nonsmoker Depression and Suicide Diagnosis in Clinical Psychology Dream Interpretation Fear Fear of Flying: Information Hypnosis and “Negative” Hypnosis Medical Factors Affecting Psychology Medication Issues Psychological Testing Questions and Answers about    Psychotherapy Reasons to Consult a Psychologist Repressed Memories The Psychology of “Stress” Trauma and PTSD Types of Psychological Treatment The Unconscious     Social Issues Adolescent Violence Anger Family Therapy Forgiveness The Psychology of Terrorism Sexuality and Love Spirituality and Psychology Spiritual Healing     Personality and Identity Death—and the Seduction of Despair Identity and Loneliness Personality Sexuality and Love Trauma—and PTSD     Stress Management Autogenics Training Hypnosis and “Negative” Hypnosis Progressive Muscle Relaxation The Psychology of “Stress” Systematic Desensitization     Fear of Flying Aviation Links Basic Principles of Aircraft Flight Fear of Flying: Information Fear of Flying: Treatment Hypnosis and “Negative” Hypnosis Systematic Desensitization     Self-help Anger Autogenics Training Becoming a Nonsmoker Progressive Muscle Relaxation Questions and Answers about    Psychotherapy Systematic Desensitization Trauma Support Groups     Personal Information Consultation Information Contact Me Education and Affiliations Feedback form Introduction Privacy Policy of this Website     HOME   SEARCH   There is no advertising on this website.     Throughout this website, my goal is simply to help you realize that although life can be painful, unfair, and brutal, it doesn’t have to be misery.   The practice of good clinical psychology involves something—call it comfort—which does not mean sympathy or soothing, and it certainly doesn’t mean to have your pain “taken away.” It really means to be urged on to take up the cup of your destiny, with courage and honesty.         his is a FREEWILL WEBSITE with NO ADVERTISING. If you find this page to be informative and helpful, please send a donation to this website in gratitude, as a “down-payment” on the success of your hopes!   his is a FREEWILL WEBSITE with NO ADVERTISING. If you find this page to be informative and helpful, please send a freewill donation, even if it’s only a few dollars, to help offset my costs in making this website available, without charge or advertising, to you and to all.   his is a FREEWILL WEBSITE with NO ADVERTISING. If you find this page to be informative and helpful, please send a donation to this website in gratitude, as a “down-payment” on the success of your hopes!   his is a FREEWILL WEBSITE with NO ADVERTISING. If you find this page to be informative and helpful, please send a freewill donation, even if it’s only a few dollars, to help offset my costs in making this website available, without charge or advertising, to you and to all.   his is a FREEWILL WEBSITE with NO ADVERTISING. If you find this page to be informative and helpful, please send a donation to this website in gratitude, as a “down-payment” on the success of your hopes!   his is a FREEWILL WEBSITE with NO ADVERTISING. If you find this page to be informative and helpful, please send a freewill donation, even if it’s only a few dollars, to help offset my costs in making this website available, without charge or advertising, to you and to all.
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