I have
been seeing my therapist for 10 months now. He has never discussed with me
what I’m diagnosed with or what type of treatment course is being taken.
I come in, discuss my issues, concerns and leave. Now I have a lot of questions
about what I’m being treated for, what’s his theoretical orientation
and how long treatment is expected to last, but am uncertain how to ask him.
This is my first experience with therapy and did not ask any of the
questions—I guess I should have initially—solely out of a lack
of knowledge. How now do I ask these after seeing him for 10 months. I would
like to know about his educational background, etc. It seems a mute point
now to ask after seeing him all this time and I fear he’ll tell me this
if I should ask, so I don’t. Any suggestions on how I can bring this
up in our discussions?
Actually, asking the questions is the easy part. All you
have to do is write down the questions, pull them out at the beginning of
your next session, and say, “Before we begin with anything else today,
I have some questions I’d like to ask.” Then start in. It’s
that simple.
The hard part
is a completely different issue.
Now, it seems
pretty clear that you learned about all these questions by visiting my website.
But the question for you is, “Why, after 10 months of psychotherapy,
did you decide to visit my website?” What was happening—or, perhaps
more appropriately, what was not happening—in your treatment
that sent you off looking for answers?
You see, if your
treatment had progressed properly, you would have learned the answers to
your questions already. Any psychotherapist should discuss his or her license,
education, theoretical approach, and expected length of treatment in the
first session when you review the
treatment consent and
office policies form. You should have been given a
diagnosis—if
you wanted one—within the first two or three sessions. So I can guess
that after 10 months of “discussing your issues” you began to
think—and feel—that something was not right.
So, first of
all, congratulations for recognizing that feeling.
As for what to
do about that feeling, it really can be a genuine part of your psychotherapy.
If your psychotherapist is competent, then after you have asked your questions,
and if they have been answered non-defensively, then the psychotherapist
will turn to looking at the underlying reason that led you to ask those
questions after 10 months of treatment. On the other hand, as you can tell
by reading some of the other questions in this section, there are many
“bad therapists” out there. Given that your psychotherapist failed
to discuss some very important issues right from the beginning, and may not
have even had a proper treatment consent form, then you may have to face
the fact, after 10 months, that you have picked someone who isn’t very
competent.
In any event,
you will have your real answer when you ask those questions. If asking the
questions moves the treatment into a deeper understanding of the
therapeutic
relationship, then everything is fine. But if your questions provoke
a defensive reaction from the psychotherapist, and if the psychotherapist
never raises the big Why? as a clinical issue, but instead makes you
feel embarrassed or stupid, then you might want to start a search for someone
more competent. And, of course, if it comes to that, now you know
the right questions to ask.
No
advertising—no sponsor—just the simple truth . . .
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If
this website has helped you, then