I have
been in therapy for about eight months now with a 51 year old male psychoanalyst.
He is very professional. I am a 34 year old female being treated for Depression
as well as PTSD. I’ve dealt with abusive relationships in my past. My
therapist does the following: he ogles me (usually my legs and foot area);
compliments me (such as you’re sexy, sexual, attractive and classy);
initiates comments about my past sexual experience (like did your high school
boyfriend perform cunninglingus[sic] on you?, also did you enjoy it?); he
is always late starting sessions and late ending them. Sometimes he is warm
towards me, other times he is strangely distant. He always misunderstands
and claims my opinions are extreme or unfounded. (Almost every session he
does this). I chose to discontinue treatment with him and he was upset. (He
always seems mad at me for something). So I apologized to him, and said that
I would continue treatment with him. Now I am so confused, because he has
me on paxil, and ambien for my insomnia. I want him and this medicine out
of my life. I feel really fatigued and drowsy all the time. Just recently
because he claims he has a hard time trying to hear me far away; he asked
me to start sitting closer in our sessions. Although I don’t think he
will ever try to molest me, I feel terribly uncomfortable. How do I get out
of this? I’m really afraid of him more than anything. He sometimes sets
his his jaw and stares at me with the most serious facial expression. He
constantly tells me I’m having a transference. (I sometimes dream of
him in a sexual manner.) When I wake up, I’m ashamed and embarrassed
of the dreams. He seems to like talking about them. He also says that he
thinks about our sessions a lot (when he is being warm towards me). The very
next session, he’ll say that I am the sickest patient he has. (In all
my effort to get better, that makes me feel really bad.)
As you describe it, your “psychoanalyst” is guilty
of bad psychotherapy, professional misconduct, and—depending on the
laws of the state in which you live—criminal activity. Is that clear
enough?
Of course
you’re “having a transference” because every client in
psychotherapy has a
transference reaction
to the psychotherapist. But no matter what the transference feelings might
be—even if they are
sexualized—the psychotherapist
should interpret the
unconscious meaning
of the client’s feelings so as to help the client understand the feelings
and grow in wisdom because of them.
So this so-called
“psychoanalyst” is guilty of bad psychotherapy because he
is treating the transference literally, not clinically, and he’s getting
stuck in his own
countertransference.
I say he’s guilty of professional misconduct because he is feeding
off the sexualized atmosphere he has created. And I say he may be guilty
of criminal activity, because in California, for example, any sexual
contact, asking for sexual contact, or sexual misconduct is a crime.
(“Sexual contact” means the touching of an intimate part—sexual
organ, anus, buttocks, groin, or breast—of another person and so is
not limited to just intercourse, sodomy, or oral copulation. “Sexual
misconduct” includes such things as verbal suggestions, innuendoes,
advances, kissing, spanking, and nudity.)
You say “I
don’t think he will ever try to molest me,” but his behavior so
far has all the warning signs of serious sexual abuse or exploitation.
Given all these warning signs, it’s no wonder you feel bad; in the present
circumstances, you should feel bad. And so you should get out. And
run for your life.
And then call
his licensing board and report him.
As for the
medications, although
it’s possible you might actually have a need for them, it’s also
possible that this man has prescribed them in order to make you more easily
controlled for his own purposes—as gruesome a thought as that might
be. However, you can’t just quit the medications “cold
turkey”—you have to taper off the dosage so that you don’t
suffer withdrawal symptoms. Find a competent
psychiatrist to
advise you on this. Then find a competent psychotherapist to guide you through
the healing process you hoped for in the first place.
No
advertising—no sponsor—just the simple truth . . .
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