I have been
seeing the same psychotherapist for quite awhile, and feelings of sexual attraction
to him have gradually developed. I was honest and brought them up with him, but what
I am confused about is the way that he responded to them. He said he is “slowing down
in that department,” that he’s on heart medications that interfere, and that he has
enough trouble just trying to keep up with his wife. He also said my course of
treatment would come to an end, but is he insinuating that a new, sexual relationship
would begin? Does it sound he was taking my feelings for him literally? Please help
me I am so confused.
Yes, he is taking your feelings for him literally. Or, to say
it more precisely, he is botching your treatment by taking the treatment situation
literally, rather than interpreting its
unconscious meaning
for you.
This is a perfect
example of how not to conduct psychotherapy.
Therefore, he
has told you—indirectly—that he is not professionally capable of
discussing your erotic transference
to any therapeutic benefit. So, take comfort in the fact that you tried to do
the right thing by talking about your feelings. His failure in not knowing what
to do about your feelings is his fault, not yours.
Ironically, it’s true:
your treatment with him has come to an end. Therefore, continue your healing work
by finding a psychotherapist who can do a proper job.
No
advertising—no sponsor—just the simple truth . . .
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