I am
sincerely asking about the following: Why am I both attracted to and repulsed
by my psychologist? On one hand he is attractive to me and then on another
day I think he is weird looking and somewhat odd. What could that be
about?
This is what I have described elsewhere on this website
as the love-hate
flip-flop: when someone gives you what you want, you’re “in
love”; when he doesn’t give you what you want, you hate him. If
you pay attention, you will notice that the switch from attraction to repulsion
happens whenever you are feeling disappointed in your psychologist; if you
pay very close attention, you might even discover the very words that trigger
your disappointment.
Now, the really
weird thing—at least, it may seem odd to those who haven’t
yet learned to appreciate the psychology of the
unconscious—is
that if you resolve to speak about these feelings in your psychotherapy sessions,
rather than hide
the feelings from your psychologist because of embarrassment and shame, you
will be able to do some deep and sincere psychotherapy. That is, you will be able
to face the emotional pain you experienced as a child when your parents disappointed
you, and then you will be able to understand the psychological
defenses that you created
unconsciously to hide that pain. Once you understand all this, you will be able to
function as an adult with honesty and confidence without being governed by defenses
that pull you back into fear and hiding.
No
advertising—no sponsor—just the simple truth . . .
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If
this website has helped you, then